Day of Remembrance

Yesterday was Trans Day of Remembrance and Kyra was honored by being part of a proclamation written by Mayor Nutter. It was truly an honor to accept the proclamation o n her behalf! The event was held at the William Way Center and again was a wonderful night.

Honored as well were Niziah Morris who was murdered 10 years and Stacey Blahnik who was murdered 2 years ago, both cases remain unsolved. In this day an age how is possible that these cases remain unsolved?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and while I am not overjoyed by the coming holiday, I am very thankful for all love and support I have received from so many. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to have had my daughter for as long as I did. I am thankful to still have my mother, sister, nephews, and some very good friends.

I will be going to the William Way Center and The Niziah Morris Home tomorrow for my holiday, giving back to those who have given me so much during this time.

Wishing all a fantastic holiday!

Comments

Please feel free to leave me a comment, I write this blog not only for myself but to try to keep those people who knew Kyra and loved her updated on what has been happening. Even if you didn't know her I appreciate you reading and taking the time to learn more about my beautiful daughter.

Pre-Thanksgiving Event

Tonight I attended an event given by "Colours" an organization in Philadelphia and yet again I met some wonderful people. The event was in honor of Trans Gender Day of Remembrance which is actually tomorrow, November 20th. Two women sang Kelly Brown and Andrea Harrington, beautifully I might add; they also had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal. I was honored to yet again get to say something about Kyra to a group of people some of which truly did know her and many that knew her, all who loved her. My daughter truly was a very special person.

Tomorrow night I go to the William Way Center in Philadelphia where Gloria will be reading the proclamation signed by Mayor Nutter officially making November 20th Trans Gender Day of Remembrance in Philadelphia; I am so proud to know that Kyra is named in the proclamation and that I will be receiving it afterwards. How could any parent not be proud?

Speaking of which, if you are the parent of a child within the LGBT community and have chosen to disconnect yourself from your child simply because they do not live a lifestyle that you agree with, I feel sorry for you. Please reconsider!!! You don't have to agree with your child's lifestyle that's not what being a parent is about, what you are suppose to do is love your child unconditionally! You don't have to be there in their bedroom, just in their life! Being part of the LGBT community is not contagious, so you can't catch anything, but if you're lucky you may catch some wonderful people that are willing to care about you regardless of the fact that you're straight!

Vanished

It's so hard to imagine that a person can be so easily removed from existence, all I have left of Kyra is photos (so many more now that her friends have posted theirs); a box full of comics, one full of cards and one of toys. According to police there is nothing else of hers to be found, where did all her clothes go? Where did all her hair go? Where is her makeup? Her purse? Her cell phone? Supposedly nowhere to be found, but someone knows where her belongings went! Most likely the same person who killed her. Could I please have my daughter's stuff back, I'm sure you don't need her things!

It's been a long week

I never would have thought that visiting the area where Kyra died would have such a tremendous affect on me. I knew last Saturday that I wasn't feeling very good about being in the area but ever since then my heart has ached more and the questions are never ending.

What's worse is now the holidays are quickly approaching and everywhere I go I see things that I should be buying for her as gifts, but have no reason now to buy them. I need to go to the Dollar Store but haven't because I always went in there to get her personal items like shaving cream, make up pads, cotton balls, etc that I would then fill a bag with giving her a couple months worth of supplies. We always bought her a coat, scarf, gloves, hat, and boots this time of year. We always made sure she had her winter clothes; sweaters, socks, etc. I know the holidays will never be the same again for me or my family so I've decided to try to make the holidays productive and beneficial to someone somewhere. I can take that money I would have spent on Kyra and spend on someone who might not otherwise have a gift to open. I've contacted the Morris Home in Philadelphia and offered my help for both Thanksgiving and Christmas as a way of "Paying it Forward" as well as a tribute to my daughter. Might I suggest that anyone reading this find a way to help someone somewhere in your community, it could be as simple as purchasing a food item or simply helping to cook, whatever it is you can do nothing more special this holiday season then lending your hand to someone in need.
Truly be thankful for all the things you do have and not regretful for the things you don't! Most importantly hug and love those closest to you, because today may be the last day you get to do so! Don't have the regret of not getting to say I love you one last time!!!!

My biggest regret as of today in my life, not being there in those final moments of my child's life, being able to let here know she was loved. Being able to provide her some sense of comfort in those final moments and then not knowing sooner that she was gone!

This is now what I have left of my daughter, no the necklace wasn't hers, but it does contain a bit of her, so she will always be close to my heart. In the blink of an eye, she went from being a beautiful woman to fittting into this necklace. Rest in Peace My Sleeping Beauty.

Questions

Everyday I sit and ask myself a million questions: Why? Could I have done more? Was I a good mom? Did she know how much I loved her? Did she suffer? Did she know what was about to happen? Why did they leave her lay there on the side of the road? How could someone do that to another human being? How do they live with themselves? Did she know them? Did she love them? Do they know how much they have devastated my life and the lives of others? Do they care?

Millions of questions, some of which I may never know the answers to, others that I may one day get some kind of answer to. No answer will ever truly heal the hole that is now in my heart or bring her back into my life.

I feel sadder now than when I found out 2 months ago, why is that? How can you possibly feel sadder further done the line? Shouldn't you begin to feel better not worse?

My heart some days truly aches, I sometimes have to wonder if there isn't something else going on. I know it is the tremendous saddens that has invaded my heart, making it ache so.

Everyday I find a new question to ponder and everyday I receive no answer, will it ever end?

Kyra's Life Celebration (Photos)

I know these are a little past due but I just got them, so for those who didn't get to attend I wanted you to be able to see what a wonderful event this was!

This was my memorial table for Kyra

Kyra's friends: Joey, Justin, Dana, Colleen, Mark, and sorry don't remember the others

 I see Wanda, Nick, Maritza, Bonnie and others enjoying themselves

Yes, we had some dancing! Kyra would never go to a party without music!

My nephews Todd and Matt, always watching

Ending the day while we watched her balloons fly away